Meet Mathew

The spectre of redundancy at a previous workplace triggered a staff member’s worst-ever anxiety attack, rendering him barely able to function and feeling so unwell he lost a huge amount of weight.

“I went off the deep end,” says HR’s Mathew Nuttall of the crisis a few years ago, which led to his GP diagnosing generalised anxiety disorder.

“I had to force myself out of bed. I was violently ill and did not want to do anything,” he says.

The diagnosis came as no surprise. He had been an anxious child with self-esteem issues who went on to be bullied at high school, where he was an openly gay teenager. Periodic attacks of anxiety followed as an adult.

“I get fear symptoms. My body shuts down. I can’t keep food down and lose weight. In that bout, I lost 15 kilograms.”

A supportive partner helped enormously, keeping things going at home and “holding Mathew’s hand”, as did daily calls from his mother and the care of his GP.

While the diagnosis only confirmed Mathew’s experience, the same doctor suggested he think back about previous triggers, list them and start planning strategies to cope.

Medication supported Mathew’s ability to think constructively and clearly about how to respond to triggers.

When Mathew is triggered now, he starts thinking about conversations to have with others and himself.

Earlier this year, he started work at the University of Auckland as a product owner. Mathew had no qualms about sharing his mental health diagnosis with his manager, who thanked him and said to let her know if he needed support.

So far, he says, that hasn’t been necessary – his commitment to positive responses means he’s thriving.

Mathew has taken the plunge to talk openly about his anxiety. He hopes it will help others, destigmatise mental illness and build understanding.

“It’s cathartic to talk about it anyway,” he says.

Mathew now has a personal toolkit of resources that help support his mental well-being. While he is happy to share them, he emphasises what works for him may not work for someone else.

• Get enough sleep. Mathew turns off the screens 30 to 45 minutes before bed and reads to help him rest.
• Keep a routine going. Even at the worst times, get out of bed, have a shower, get dressed and, if possible, go out into the world.
• Talk to others. Mental illness isn’t something to be ashamed of, it is just a part of your life. Talk to your manager about any support you need.
• Belly breathing is very helpful for calming anxiety and bringing a sense of happiness.
• Exercise. Taking a walk in nature is a mood booster, even walking through an urban park.
• Looking into a dog’s eyes boosts serotonin in the same way gazing at a baby does.
• Meditation. It can be hard to find time, but the rewards of completely stilling the mind are great.
• Connect. Talking to friends and ideally having a laugh takes your mind off the struggles you are facing.
• The over-riding message, Mathew says, is: “Hope is your best friend.” Tell yourself: “I have done this before and I will get better – maybe not today or tomorrow, but I will get better.”

For queries on any of our staff networks, email: staffdiversityequityandinclusion@auckland.ac.nz 

• Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) 
• Mental Health Foundation 
• CALM Auckland
• Mental health and well-being
• If you want to talk to someone about options for managing any form of mental health problem at work, contact your HR manager (staff intranet) or the Manager, Equity Vicki Watson at v.watson@auckland.ac.nz.